You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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