Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
