Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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