New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
