singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
