i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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