I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
