you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
bring money and cleavage
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
