do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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