No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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