it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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