I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
