My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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