Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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