Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize