Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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