Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
