What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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