Whod you bang
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
