Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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