I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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