what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
