I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
