Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
