If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
