I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
