I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
