I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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