The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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