fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize