what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
