So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
