I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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