Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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