I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
