Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
