who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
