I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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