i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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