And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
