Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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