I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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