Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
