I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
