i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sorry about my life...
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