It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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