im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
