He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Be still, my beating vagina.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
