after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
