I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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