your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
