actually, I'm a sock model
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
