Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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