is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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