I can tuck mytits in my pants
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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